Tips to a Successful Marriage | The 3 C’s

January 17

As a newlywed, I am on a path to discover tips to a successful marriage; the important pieces that my husband and I need in order to maintain a happy and loving marriage.

I am announcing that 2013 is the “Year of Love!”, determined to make it a year of strengthening our relationships, kicking those stubborn habits in the butt and showing our loved ones just how much they mean to us!

Today, I want to start with the 3 areas I have found to be important when it comes to marriage or any relationship.We all struggle in certain ways and I hope that by sharing these points, you and your loved one can start to overcome any issues you may be facing.

Let’s get started, shall we?

Photos via Dream a little Dream, Discretely Charming, Elizabeth Messina + Amanda K

1. COMMUNICATION

Friends, communication is number one is releationships; King of the castle and head of the class! The honest truth is that without communication, it’s extremely difficult to sustain a healthy and happy relationship. Luckily, communication is easier than you think.

If you’re like me, communication didn’t always come easy. I never had an easy time expressing my emotions and shutting down or walking away was always my “go-to”. It put a huge strain on my personal relationships. But today, communication has become more natural. The reason for this is because my husband and I have managed to find a system that works for us. Being married to someone who is so open with his opinions and emotions has really forced me to be more expressive with mine. Not without reason of course!

He has helped me learn how to understand exactly what I am feeling by taking a moment to breathe and gather my thoughts. Instead of walking away, I will sit and think for a few moments. This helps me calm down and really understand what I am feeling. Being open and expressing my thoughts and emotions with him has brought us much closer together. Every single day is progress though and it’s about taking it one step at a time. Don’t expect perfection from yourself!

There may be times where you need to step away for a few hours and return later once your mind is clearer. In the end though, the two of you must come together and figure out what will help you both be open and share with each other. Marriage and relationships are built on communication which helps shape and guide you both through each chapter of your story!

 

2. COMPROMISE

Let’s face it, from time to time we want things to be “our way or the highway!” But I believe, one of the biggest things we forget is that once we enter a relationship, we are now living life for two people; as one.  Many of the decisions we make will effect our spouse and our decisions must consider the other first, before ourselves. While it can be difficult, this will pave the way for children in the future and you’re making decisions based on 3 or more! Yikes!

At times if can be difficult, but being in a relationship means having to step back  from time to time, to allow your spouse’s ideas, desires and decisions to be fulfilled. One of the most common examples I can think of is the classic, “watching his shows vs. watching her shows”. It seems so minor, but honestly it is the perfect way to learn compromise. Always consider what will work best for the both of you and how both parties can benefit.

I will openly say that I was not a fan of watching sports. Every time David used to watch a football game I would complain. How did I get past it without having to actually leave the room? I had my husband go over how the game works, answer any questions I had and explain each play if needed. It’s about perspective, ladies, and being willing to change the way you view things! Now, football doesn’t seem as boring and sports highlights actually make sense! Seriously! All because I allowed him to involve me and take the time to make sure I understood what was happening. He made me feel like I could enjoy watching sports too!

As for David watching my shows? Well that wasn’t as easy. He just can’t see that I watch such great TV! Just kidding. It was very similar though. My shows have characters, much like sports and I had to help him understand the characters and become familiar with the story line. Now we’re watching many of our shows together and we actually take interest in the other’s.

Sometimes, all it takes is a little investment, involvement and patience. Just remember to always consider how both of you can benefit from each other’s desires. And if you can do this, compromise will eventually come as naturally as loving each other. Cheers to that!

 

3. CUDDLE

We all know the saying “actions speak louder than words.” In my opinion, this 100% applies to cuddling! Sure, we can tell our other half how much they mean to us and say I love you daily, but in the end nothing says it better than physical contact.

Deep down, we all love it. Whether it be sitting so close to each other that you’re almost sitting on top of each other, or laying tightly in his arms, it’s always the perfect fit! As for our men, they need to know that it’s completely acceptable to play the little spoon from time to time! These are the moments that you need to cherish. It’s the time when the world stops and no one else is around. No words are needed, just complete bliss.

Physical affection can be your relationship’s best friend and you should ever neglect your need to cuddle and embrace each other completely. Not big on cuddling? Try holding hands as much as possible, for starters. Many forms of physical contact can go such a long way. We were made to appreciate this form of affection; It’s personal, romantic and a must-do for all couples!

 

Tell me | How do you and your better half relate to the 3 C’s? What keeps your relationship happy and healthy?

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