February is upon us and I have been nothing but anxious to share my latest post. I feel the need to address an area that I personally have struggled with and that plenty of us experience once we enter into a committed relationship: Finding balance in marriage. The me vs. us conundrum.
Hesitant to stay with me? Don’t worry. I have some practical, easy to apply advice that’ll help you navigate the marriage seas like a pro!
We all know how the fairytale goes. Boy meets girl, girl falls in love with boy and vice-versa. You begin to spend weekends together, then you add every other day and eventually you are spending most of your free time with one another! As your lives begin to intertwine, you may notice your daily routines begin to slowly change. There’s a shift. They become your “all the time” rather than your “free time”.
From my own personal experience with my Husband, I caught myself slipping into a routine where I began to visit my friends less, my hobbies got pushed aside and the next thing I knew, I was neglecting many important things in my life. Things that make me happy and excited about life and truthfully, the same thing happened to him.
Love is a crazy thing. We get so wrapped up in the luster of it all, that the world around us disappears. While normally that is a great feeling, it can also cause issues down the road. Familiar with the term “co-dependent”?
Unfortunately, that is exactly what can become of you, me and everyone who neglects seeking balance in our marriages. There’s benefits to “me time” as it keeps us from expecting our partner to complete us and satisfy our every desire! As someone who struggled with this concept, I want to remind myself and you that we can’t forget about ourselves. I myself know how difficult it is to break free from it.
But let’s be truthful: Do you remember how much you loved running? Or how you would read for hours on end? And what about the people in our lives? We all know a girl can’t survive without her best friends, just like a boy can’t live without his. We must not forget about what makes us happy and completes us as individuals.
It is so important to make time for your own passions in life, to avoid becoming ill-content, bored and resentful of our partners. So, plan for the future and be active in prevention! Allow yourself to bask in the ambiance of your favorite pastimes and not feel guilty for stealing a few solo hours. Besides, doesn’t distance make the heart grow fonder, even if it’s only for a few hours?
If the both of you can find balance in your life together and apart, it will only make your relationship stronger. In fact, since re-instigating “me time” my husband and I have become more understanding and less dependent upon one another! Confession: I do still prefer to spend my Friday nights at home with him watching our favorite TV shows, joking around and laughing like little kids. That will definitely never get old.
In the end, it always comes back to balance. Balance in life, balance in love and balance within yourself.