Archive for the ‘Loving Advice’ Category

The thing I hear from couples that breaks my heart
June 13

Today, I feel compelled to share what’s on my heart- something that’s been weighing on me a lot lately. Since returning home from Engage!13, this something has been a driving force, in making small changes to the way I present what Kailey Michelle Events is all about and why we so passionately do what we do.

As a stylist and self professed detail junkie, I love fussing over the aesthetics as much as anyone. Every nook and cranny. All elements considered! But the truth is, the design and “show” should never overshadow what the wedding day is all about. Sadly, too often it does.

At times, I meet with couples who present a perfectly pretty vision complete with DIY projects and fabulous details from A-Z, but when I ask them why ”this or that” and the meaning behind their fantasy, they stare back at me blankly.

“I saw it on Pinterest.”
“My friend had roses. She’ll think I copied her.”
“It looks extravagant and I want guests to be impressed.”

To be perfectly frank, my heart breaks a little when I hear these things.

What I was hoping for was their love story, their family culture or the sentiment behind an heirloom. To me, details should have roots and lie in meaning….

Not picked simply for the sake of making a statement.

With the revolution of Pinterest, wedding blogs, and countless magazines, it’s incredibly easy to get caught up in creating a wedding that’s “not your own” and instead a big production. And before you know it, you’re planning a wedding that’ll impress but has no heart – Where guests will look around and not see you, but a magazine rip out of someone else’s day.

At Kailey Michelle Events, we believe the true beauty of your wedding day, lies in the experience; both yours, your family’s and your friends. It’s a time to savour every sensation and celebrate life’s most joyous moments; the ones you’ll share with your daughter when she asks, “Mommy, tell me a fairytale…”

The laughter of your girls on your final “sleep over” as a single women
Daddy’s squeeze of the hand right before he walks you down the aisle
Momma’s proud look when she see’s you dawn her veil
Locking eyes with your sweety like it’s the very first time and the butterflies that follow
Hearing Mr. and Mrs, like you’ve practiced saying in your heart
Frolicking through the city taking photos with your favourites by your side
Celebrating with those dearest to you; the ones who have helped shape the person you are today

We aim to transcend current trends to present genuine affairs. Because a truly exquisite wedding is one thread with personal sentiment. From your flowers, to your favours and everything in between, we believe the details of your day should illuminate your one-of-a-kind love and share your story with guests and friends. It’s more than choosing something for aesthetics, but weaving in your passions, your traditions and family heirlooms that have been passed down…

Lace on your gown bought from Paris, where he proposed
Family recipe favours that you laboured over with auntie
Grandma’s vintage teacups, which you sipped from as a child
The wine you shared on your first date; the one you now call “ours”
The song your parents danced to on their very own wedding day
Garden Roses, just like mom; the ones dad would buy her every sunday
The words from your favourite love story, weaved into hand-written vows, the invitations and table names

It’s more than curating a beautiful setting. It’s making it your own, precious and special for reasons close to your heart!

Slowly but surely, you’ll notice a few changes being made to our website to reflect this undeniable affirmation of my heart’s focus, including two new promo videos sharing the mission of KME and our approach to wedding planning.

In the end friends, no matter what you do or how you plan your “once upon a time,” be sure to focus on the reason for the day and take the time to truly be in the moment. After all, the real adventure begins the morning after you say, “I do!”

Photos courtesy of [top left to right, working down] Matt Kennedy, Studio Jeanie, Pure Light Studios, KGood Photo, Ryan+Beth

Posted in Engagement, Loving Advice | 1 Comment »

Financial Peace University + Giveaway!
May 7

A while back, I happened upon Nancy Ray’s blog post about her success with Financial Peace University.

To be perfectly honest, I had heard of FPU on a few occasions, listening to people scream to the mountain tops with excitement about having become debt free, with the help of David Ramsey. But whenever I hear people talk like this or see posts on instagram about finances, I almost put a wall up, a sub conscience “selective hearing” that keeps me from truly registering what’s being shared.

I never really thought I had an issue with money or resented it. But truth be told, I felt slave to it- like it controlled my family’s anxiety levels, success in reaching our dreams, essentially that it determined our future. That forever, it would call the shots and tell us what we can do, in what order and when.

I truly believed that debt was just a fact of life and can remember myself saying things like “well I better get used to debt if I want to grow up and have a business/car/home/future”… I squirm just remembering because the fact of the matter is, I couldn’t have been further from the truth.

financial peace university

God made money to support us, not the other way around- to provide for our needs and be a blessings to others. If handled properly, the way He intended it to be, managing money can be empowering, rewarding and the platform to making what matters most happen in your life. It’s all in rewiring our brains and how we think about money; about identifying the misconceptions our society has brainwashed us into believing, even adopting as our own, and learning that in living within our means, theres freedom, contentment and the opportunity to live like no one else… debt free and fabulous!

After creating our 2013 vision and deciding we had had enough of letting our money “happen to us”, we took a leap of faith and registered for the online course. What did we have to loose? And let me tell you, the result has been tremendous… life altering! Dave and I have been liberated in our money fears and have taken back control of our future, with Gods help. In only 7 weeks, [9 more to go] ours financial future has done a 180 and blessings have flowed abundantly from above! We now understand the shouting to the rooftops in joy of finding FPU!

I’m not saying we’ve paid off all our debt or our situation magically changed over night. But we’ve got a plan, we’re sticking to it and there’s hope restored, where it once was lost. We can see the light at the end of our tunnel and know the short term sacrifice is worth the long term gain! It’s set us up for a future free of financial worry and solid foundation for maximizing our money, making it work for us AND others… not the other way around.

Friends, debt is not a reality we must “accept,” even for your wedding! Yes, I said it. Don’t go into debt for your wedding! Dave and I know first hand, the stress and hardships it can cause. I let the pressure get to me and before I knew it, I was way in over my head financially, planning a wedding that would impress others, rather than one that was true to my heart. But God had a lesson in store. So please, Learn from us!

No matter your financial situation, whether your saving for your wedding, $100,000 in debt, or simply want to take control of your financial destiny, I encourage you to register today. I’ll be your accountability partner, if you need one. No excuses! It’ll be the BEST investment you’ll ever make.

And for those of you like me, who thought this was going to be the most tedious, brain numbing, boring class I ever took…..

Friend, your time in now. Learn to live, give and dream like no one else. Your legacy depends on it!

Because I’ve been so encouraged by this program and believe whole heartedly in Financial Peace University, I’m giving away ONE FREE ONLINE COURSE ADMITTANCE. That’s right. My gift to you! Enter today for your chance to win. Here’s how….

Do one (or all) of the following tasks. Every task counts as an entry (5 possible chances to win!)

Comment. Tell me in the comments what you’d do with your life if money were NO issue
Instagram. Screencap the blog image and announce it to your instagram followers! (include @kailmichi)
Pin. Pin the image above to pinterest! Any board will do.
Blog. Feel like writing? Blog the giveaway with a link to this post!
Like. Like my facebook page and “share” the giveaway photo to your personal or business page.

The winner will be announced on Tuesday May 14th and contacted via email!

Get started today. I’m cheering you on!

Posted in Giveaways & Contests, In the Community, Loving Advice, Marriage, Personal | No Comments »

The Good, the Bad and the Purpose of Marriage | The Amazing Life Together Webinar
April 29

This is past weekend, I attended the Amazing Life Together Webinar put on by Liz & Ryan Photography. I had first heard about it through Lara Casey, who was one of six couples guest speaking and sharing their love story and journey through marriage. While I didn’t know much of what to expect, I did know Lara would be sharing her whole marriage story- from it’s rocky beginnings, through the rough patches, to the place where God had brought them now.

If you’ve read this post, you’ll know my husband and I are huge advocates of mentors in both life, our businesses and our marriage. Learning from others that have gone before us and walked both the narrow and wide paths, is one of the greatest blessings we can give ourselves. This webinar was exactly that, plus the perfect date night in, rolled together! [Dave ended up having to work late and I watched day 1 solo in bed, cuddled with my pooch]

I was eager to tune in and fully expecting to shed tears, but what I didn’t expect, was how incredibly moved I would be by nearly every couple’s story and how beautifully God would speak through their very different journeys. I took away so much more than I fathomed and am grateful to Liz & Ryan for starting such a valuable and life fulfilling project.

While every couple’s story touched me and offered great take aways for building a strong, healthy and lasting marriage, I want to highlight a few that struck me deeply… The ones that stirred me on the inside and grabbed hold of my heart strings and tugged, hard!

LARA CASEY & ARI ISAACSON

Lara is a women I thank God for every single day. No joke. No matter the season of life, the years that go by or the chapter I’m experiencing in my own life, Lara encourages me daily to be a better version of me, to refine my focus to only the things that truly matter and consistently offer up my life to God as a living testament to his goodness, power and mercy. I can see so much of myself in her and I truly believe God puts individuals in our lives that reflect back to us the things he wants both, for us AND the things he wants us to face/embrace/change/work on.

Boiled down, Lara and Ari’s story was one of redemption, mercy and boundless love. God had brought them from a divided place, where two people co-existed like ships in the nights simply passing by, barely registering or even knowing the other, to a place of deep humility and forgiveness- a life that surrenders to each others needs, puts God and family first and lives with intention and on purpose, every single day! They embrace lifes simple moments, scratch that, celebrate them and make it their mission to love as Jesus did, both in their marriage, with their friends, family and community, as well as in their work lives! Absolutely powerful. Their story was nothing less than a beautiful testimony to God! A light to all that God has in store for us, if we’ll simply let him into our hearts to lead.

I’m immensely thankful to Lara and Ari for sharing so vulnerably and with such confidence in what God has brought them through. [They shared parts of their story that would make some of us squirm] Incredibly, Dave and I can relate to so much of your beginnings in marriage and who they both were before giving their lives to God and in all honestly, I find some days, shame creeps in. It leaves me wanting to hide my past and fearful that people will see me and my marriage as a fake. But just hearing God speak through them, smashed those lies. I can say confidently that’s not the case! God uses our experiences for such great good and through every trial, we will develop perseverance, character and hope.

KATELYN JAMES & MICHAEL ALSOP

Katelyn and Michael had me listening intently and “re-winding” to let things sink in and register. I found their story refreshing and I’m grateful for how tactful and thorough they were in giving advice and how-to’s for reaching your dreams. The OCD, A type in me rejoiced!

Admittedly, their life at one point seemed perfect on the outside, wrapped up pretty with a bow and like they had their stuff together. While on the inside, there was uncertainty, restlessness and anxiety over their future. They had made changes, ones they felt God had called them too, yet were discouraged . They felt directionless and without answers; like God had forgotten them and his promises for their life.

What I loved most about this, was that so many times as Christians, we feel that because we’re living our life for God, being obedient and believe we’re truly in his will, that we expect things to come quickly and answers to fall from the sky. We’re some how still in shock and frustrated when God doesn’t answer us, forgetting that his silence usually means one of two things… “No” or “Grow.” Not that he’s turned his cheek. I fall prey to this in my own life and felt encouraged by their honestly. I valued most their reminder to seek out individuals in those times to share your heart with, bounce ideas off of and seek counsel and comfort in.

They apply this philosophy to their business also, surrounding themselves with individuals and couples who are like-minded, have similar values, will offer honest advice and will spur them on in their dreams and mission.

I left their session excited to continue building my network of industry friends, regardless of where they live [thank goodness for technology] and hopeful that even in seasons of waiting on God, there is purpose and intent. They too shall pass!

KAREN & ISAAC STOTT

Karen & Issac shattered every misconception of marriage, sharing openly about their one-sided, rocky beginnings. The confessed that they didn’t know what marriage really entailed or have great examples to follow or aspire to in their husband and wife roles.

Being a wedding planner, I see far too many couples commit their lives to each other, having little clue of the reality they’ve entered into. There’s slim understanding of the integrity in which God designed marriage to be nor acknowledgement that two are now becoming one.. meaning head butting, compromise and a whole new “normal.” They shared their experiences in discovering this truth and ways each of them laid down their own life, to put the other and their marriage first. It made me want to be a better wife and rid more of my selfish desires, ambitions and “needs,” in favour of “us.”

After the live Q&A session ended, I found myself on Karen’s blog reading post after post in awe. I so deeply, almost desperately, related to where she’s at in life right now. Specifically, this, this and this post had me in tears. Why? Because I’ve been sensing a similar shift in myself over the last while… the stirring of my heart to get rid of the distractions and focus solely on God’s call for my life, however that looks, regardless of what I think my future should hold. The honest reality is that I’m fearful of succeeding at what doesn’t matter and I’m working hard to strip my life of the “fluff” and fight for what does matter! But as I refine my focus, my flesh fights back and I battle old selfish desires, false emotions and ways of my former life. And at times, I feel paralyzed by this internal battle, which ultimately allows fear to creep in.

I found encouragement and hope in Karen’s sharing to simply embrace it regardless, knowing that in the end, God’s will will win if I just keep trecking forward one step at a time, making the decision to choose what I know is right over and over. And eventually my feelings will catch up with my mind. Because Love wins, every time!

So friend, if any of this hits home, I would encourage you to purchase the recordings here. Or if you’re married or preparing to be, I would also spur you on to do the same. There was incredible encouragement, honesty and invaluable advice from these couples lessons and life trials! Because as much as it’s “all about the party and the details,” the fun begins after you say I do…

With Love,

Kailey-Michelle

Photos courtesy of  Liz & Ryan, Jill Powers and Karen Stott

Posted in Engagement, Loving Advice, Marriage, Personal | 1 Comment »

2013 Vision Progress Check in | Part 1
April 11

Hello, dear friend. Welcome to April. April?! Seriously. Where did the months go already. If you remember, back in January I shared my 2013 vision; the goals I made in an effort to set myself up for success in the coming year. I spent many hours journaling with my bible in hand, pouring my heart into analyzing what worked and what didn’t in 2012 and whether or not I was on the path I wanted for my life.

So as we round the quarter mark of this year, it comes time to check in with my progress in honesty and humility. How have I done and what areas do I need to work harder at. After all, I didn’t spend nearly 2 weeks creating the vision for nothing. It’s my life map for the next year and without looking down every once in a while to evaluate your course and progress, how will you ever find your way efficiently…

Let me start of by giving you a mega post warning! It’s a along one but I’ve broken it up into two parts. And I promise if you stick with me, you too might find some encouragement and clarity in your own walk and goals. Don’t forget to chime in, also. I want to hear from you and how your progress is coming! If you haven’t yet taken your future into your hands and set yourself up for success, it never to late to get started.

Top to Bottom | My last day in Calgary with my adopted niece and nephew after helping move our close friends out of province. A bittersweet, memory maker of a trip | Me taking time to skype with my girlfriend who lives out of town and offer encouragement on a hard day | Making notes on the things God has laid upon my heart and writing my prayers out, because saying them out loud fails almost every time. I get distracted and focus on the wrong things, like sounding perfect and making pretty out of my thoughts. But when my pen hits the paper, my soul pours out, effortlessly | Two of my favourite ladies and one very special little man | Our last weekly dinner with our friends before they loved out of town. This night will forever be cherished.

1. Seek God first

Every day before anything else, so that my focus remains on him, his ways and his desire for my life

More than ever before, my morning devotional time has flourished! It’s my favourite time of day and I eagerly come to my couch each morning hungry to hear from God and learn more about his awesome character and goodness! I’ve experienced God’s closeness , his wisdom and his leading so abundantly. He’s certainly working hard at revealing his plans for my life, little by little. And in all honesty, they scare me sometimes. Why? because it takes courage to change the things he’s calling me to, to sacrifice where it hurts, refine my focus and attention and continuously battle my pride, self-sufficiency and “I can do it all by myself, thank you very much,” attitude. The good news is, with every layer he penetrates in my heart, I’m humbled and in awe of his grace, love and beauty, which in turns makes me want to commit every. single. moment of my life to him and his will for me. I want nothing more than to live the life he’s designed for me- one of serventhood, love and sharing of his faithfulness with others!

2.More Laughter

Our days are too short to not be filled with joy, for you never know when it’ll be your last

Praise God for more laughter! Just this past weekend, my first official social media free weekend, I marvelled at the amount of laughter that filled our home. I felt like a teenager all over again- giggling, making jokes and simply savouring every minute with my sweety. The same can be said for the moments spent with friends and my dear family. This year has been filled with more joy and laughter than I can remember in a long time. I truly believe the more grace God shows me, the fuller I experience his acceptance, which makes me want to simply enjoy, lavish love and accept others the same! God is good!

3. Time with Friends

and entertaining in my home, because it’s in those moments that I feel most alive

Indeed we have entertained in our home again this year, after nearly a year’s hiatus in hosting. Granted, not as much as I’d like, I’m grateful for the evenings we’ve shared with our friends and look forward to more to come. Dave even suggested us hosting our next bible study group session in our home. Wouldn’t that be fun!

4. Scheduled daily time with God to study the bible

So that he may continue to refine by heart and I become more like him; a reflection of his grace, mercy, love and beauty; So I will stand firm in my faith, regardless of life’s circumstances, holding on to his promises

In line with goal number one, the progress God has made in me brings tears. I have experienced revelation after revelation this year and my heart continues to refine and change it’s focus from the things I used to desire, to those of God’s will for my life. Growing up and becoming the person you were meant to be is hard work! Don’t let anyone fool you. But with every new experience, challenge and circumstance, God reveals the areas he wants me to work on in order that he may move me forward in his plans for my life. And let me tell you, the glimpses he’s given me are unreal and get me up and dancing in my office with excitement. My faith continues to grow stronger, deeper and more rooted in the character of God with each passing day and for that I’m beyond grateful.

After 10 yrs of the idea lingering in my head, I bit the bullet and started creating a card line using my photographs and journals of sayings.

5. More of what fires me up

Spending time doing the things that fuel my passion, like Baking, Reading, Writing, Crafting, Photographing and Running, so I will be inspired in my work and life

Can I get an AMEN! Yes, yes , yes to doing the things that fire us up. It brings me immense joy to say I have spent some of the most wonderful hours doing the things I once longed for but lay dorment last year in pursuit of my ambitions. I’ve spend many sundays baking in my kitchen, my favourite of which is making bread from scratch. There’s something about the nostalgia in the process, the beautiful sculpture that appears out of the oven when done and the lingering aroma that fills my house with what smells like love. To me anyways! I’ve spend more time in quiet reading simply for the joy in it, running the trials with my poochy [hurray for sun and wind filled afternoon jogs] and tackling crafting projects I’ve been wanting to get my hands dirty at. Most recently, Dave and I cleaned up two antique doors, which now add the perfect touch of rustic dimension to our living room. Next up is learning how to refinish and distress furniture, so we can start on the [entire storage locker] of antiques we’ve collected for our [someday] dream home!

Another project I dusted off the shelf [and one I've honestly wanted to do since high school and one my moms been encouraging me to start for ages] was to create a card line using my photographs, paired with beautiful sayings. I have hard drive after hard-drive of images I’ve taken and book loads of saying I’m collected over the past 10 years. It’s time to make something out of them to share with others. Above’s a sneak peek of one I started working on yesterday. Stay tuned for details as things progress!

Lastly, after nearly 8 months of silence, I started writing in my personal blog again, “Seeking Grace.” I treat this blog like a journal; it’s vulnerable, honest and raw, sharing my heart through life’s greatest adventures and hardest trials. I write it for those who may be experiencing the same things I am and my hope, is that in readying it, even one person will know they’re not alone. In all honestly, I stopped writing in pride. I struggled knowing some of my friends, family and clients were reading it. I like things to be wrapped up pretty and put together, including myself and my life. God’s working on me through and showing me that there’s beauty in imperfection and it’s through life’s greatest challenges, “deserts” and refining periods that we grow, learn and can touch and bless others. Because let’s face it; we all go through things, but not everyone is brave enough to lay it all out on the table. My prayer is that those seeking encouragement, honesty and someone who can relate will happen upon my blog and feel God’s presence.

6. Setting proper work hours and days off

To avoid burnout, always bringing my best self forward for my clients, my family and my God

Can I just say Hallelujah for office hours and set days off!!! Like, seriously, friends. Why on earth did it take me this long to implement such an obvious boundary. Every business has works hours, so why is mine any different? I can’t possibly be available to everyone and every need 24 hrs a day, 7 days a week and still give 110%. Not only did I implement these two, but I structured my work week, setting office days, consultation days, social media scheduling days as well as blog days. It’s up’d my efficiency, as well as my enthusiasm. No more guilt or anxiety over all the things I need to do RIGHT NOW, TODAY! And my clients? Well you’ve all been amazing and respectful. Because honestly friends, when you respect and value yourself and your time, your clients will do the same.

And as for my days off, well those are just the more beautifully, blessed days ever! I’m so grateful for the time I get to spend 100% focused on loving those right in front of me without texting during conversations or having to excuse myself to answer a work call. No fun for anyone.

7. Investing more into KME

So I may learn what makes my clients, my staff and my fans tick, and I can give back, inspire and educate in a way that resonates with them and makes them feel heard/ appreciated

Wow, has this year’s journey with KME been an exciting whirlwind thus far. We launched two new division of Wedding Planning Services, Wedding Invitations and Stationery, as well as, Mobile Hairstyling. And with that comes lots of newness for this entrepreneur. I’ve dedicated myself to getting these divisions everything they need to flourish and run smoothly, including developing policy and procedure manuals, beautiful new marketing collateral and effective project management systems so my team can work like little worker bees seamlessly!

I’ve also been working hard on giving you, my dear clients and KME fan family, more of the things you love and appreciate, such as marriage advice articles, personal blog posts so you can learn about the woman behind the business and my best advice for landing your dream job as a wedding planner.

Top to Bottom | Our first date night in of the year, in which I cooked the meat, while Dave prepared the sides. We played role reversal for fun. I still think his Chicken is better! | My final goodbye to the dreaded “pretty box” method of bookkeeping before starting financial peace university and getting our budgets and book keeping in order. | Dave like a kid in a candy store after a successful trip to our favourite store, Liberty Wines. One of our frequent favourite date day outings is wine tastings at local liquor stores to try new countries and add to our collection | us waiting for our cooking class to start. We take our goals seriously folks.. Time to master the kitchen together! | Dave and I one sunday afternoon baking bread together from scratch

8. Date nights and Cooking with my Husband

So that we eat healthier, more regular meals and feel connected throughout each week. And so that we each feel loved and appreciated!

I’ll be honest and say this is one area I haven’t made the progress I would have liked. But hey, it’s about progress not perfection, right?! While Dave and I have been very intentional about spending time together when we have it, we haven’t been the best at planning “dates.” Many times we’ve landed on the couch exhausted, with a glass of wine in hand to watch TV or a movie. I’d like this to change. Don’t get me wrong, we go for PLENTY of walks, sunday drives and outings, but when it comes to our date night, we can’t seem to find many things that don’t cost a fortune or require eating out. [See goal 10 for the why on this]

But thank the good Lord, the sun has finally started making appearances and in no time, we’ll be full swing into beach, picnicking and hiking season; talk about the ultimate date night activities. Yes please!

9. Redefine my definition of success

To living a happy, balanced life that means something on all levels | God, work, family, friends, community etc.

This goal makes my heart sing, friends, like really! I was [and still am some days] so hard on myself, setting unrealistic expectations for my life. Thinking I had to “be something” rather than live out the joy and privilege it is to simply be me. ‘Cause I know with all certainly and can scream with all vigour, that money, goals, accomplishments and power do not make me happy or fulfil me! I ran after them for many years and all it brought was one heartache and disappointment after the other. It wasn’t until I came to know Jesus personally, that my life changed, more like turned upside down and I experienced for the first time the true value and beauty life had to offer. I haven’t looked back since.

As with most things though, old habits die hard; my perfectionism and expectations of myself, no exception. But with God’s help, he continues to refine my heart, redefine my desires and focus and change me into the woman he created me to be. Praise be to him!!

Oh, how many cares one loses when one decides not to be something, but to be someone. Thank you Coco Chanel for such beautiful sound advice!

10. Re-vamping our Finances

To create realistic and manageable family and business budgets, so that we may own our finances rather than the other way around!

While I hate to admit it, this goal is one I’ve struggled with the most. I have a huge hate on for money and the invisible chains I feels it binds me in. But thats just the thing… I allowed myself to think that- to view money in that way and look where it’s gotten me. To a place where I resent it, despise it and want nothing to do with it. Including learning about how it can actually help me, even set me free if I learn to manage it effectively. But God was working on me, slowly but surely showing me my need to take control of our finances, live differently and get out of debt so that we can flourish in a future free of money-stress and worries.

So, with much encouragement from my husband and enthusiastic ra-ra-ing, Dave and I signed up for David Ramsey’s Financial Peace University. Man oh man, it’s been hard work work and in all honestly, I’ve spent many nights in tears, some possibly in childlike temper tantrums, frustrated with how little I know about managing money and how much WORK it is to live WITHIN YOUR MEANS. Because in all honestly, so few of us do in today’s society. We live on credit cards in vain of what we think we “deserve”, “need” or want others to “think of us.” The reality makes me ill. I don’t want to live like that, period. I want to live in a home filled with love, in a place where we know we haven’t over extended ourselves and we’re content with what we have. YES! I want that. So here, goes nothing. Week 4 of 16 on route to taking back our financial future. We’re going to live like no one else now, so later, we can live like no one else. Get it?!

Phew! So there you have it. Part 1 of 2 in my 2013 vision progress. But don’t think you’re getting off that quickly. Now it’s your turn! How’s your progress going thus far? Have you kept your new years resolution, goals or 2013 vision? Keep me in the loop by sharing your comments below or on my facebook page. I’d love to hear from you!

Until next time, my friends,

xo | Kailey-Michelle

Posted in Loving Advice, Personal, Tools and Worksheets | 2 Comments »

Preparing for Marriage | 5 Tools for Building a Lasting Marriage
March 21

Dave and I first got engaged back in 2009. We had plans to marry the following year, but one thing lead to another and it was late 2011 before we actually tied the knot. While I was frustrated many times over at the circumstances and delay that forced us to hold off, I saw quite clearly on our wedding day the plans God had in store and his reasons for taking us down the [narrow and bumpy] path.

You see, the people we were on September 4, 2011, were very different than the couple we were back in 2009. Our entires lives had changed and together our focus shifted, our priorities changed and we saw marriage for what it truly was intended to be.

Our story is long winded and personal on many levels. But what I can tell you, is that my husband and I have been through what felt like hell and back and that it is only by a divine plan we made it through our first few years dating, then through our engagement period, to our wedding day. All odds were against us. But as I look back now, I see the stepping stones of that narrow path- the mercies and grace He revealed through people, resources and His word. I’m continuously humbled by how God continues to use our past circumstances for good and helping others.

Friends, don’t be fooled. No matter how pretty the picture now, marriage is hard work and you’re bound to hit rough patches through life’s journeys. I’m no therapist, but I can share from my personal experiences the things that have helped Dave and I conquer trials and come out the other side closer, more connected and grateful for each other- the things that gave us hope, gave us perspective and helped prepare us for future turbulence. Because as much as I love the party, and every piece of planning that goes along with it, it’s the integrity of marriage that moves my soul and is the heart of KME.

So today, I want to share with you 5 tools to building a stronger marriage; tools that Dave I personally used and can attest to their power and blessings!

preparing for marriage

1. The 5 love Languages

I could never understand why so many marriages failed. If we all know it’s hard going in and are prepared and expectant of such a reality, then why is divorce still tabled as an option? Shouldn’t it instead be thrown into the garbage like expired milk?! Perhaps it’s because we’re all such different creatures each with our set of idiosyncrasies, deep held desires and unique needs. We’re bound to be misunderstood, even by those who know us best.

It didn’t take long for us to realize, through reading The five love languages, that this indeed was the key to our society’s high divorce rate. These differences can most easily be explained metaphorically as “different language”- foreign ones that need interpretations, education and practice. And while I could divulge the nitty gritty, it would keep you from reading the book! What Dave and I discovered was a whole new way of loving each other- one that has us both feeling appreciated, understood and looked after!

2. Ten Conversations you should have before Marriage

For two very emotional and talkative individuals, we thought we had covered it all. We listened to friends and scoffed many times at their ridiculous antics and arguments of things we had worked through long ago. Truly we believed we were prepared and had worked out every detail of our picture perfect life. Anyone relate?!

So in turning the pages of this book simultaneously, “The Ten Conversations you should have before Marriage,” and working through the chapters discussion questions, we were humbled and slightly humiliated at our childish attempts to “discuss it all.” This book forced us to ask the tough questions, including what would happen if we had a child with special needs or one of us became paralyzed or had brain damage after a car accident, like this couple. We had never stopped to consider such possible realities!

It was certainly not easy but immensely worth it. I urge you to take the time and hash out these 10 critical conversations to have before marriage.

3. The Power of a Praying Wife/Husband

These books were suggested to us by friends. And truthfully, at the time of their suggestions, Dave and my prayer life was fairly measly. We had yet to understand the privilege and blessings of prayer, let alone start a routine of praying for each other.

But it was through these books and it’s disciplined practice that our hearts softened towards each other. With new eyes we saw each other needs and new empathy and mercy, that we treated and cared for each other willingly. It brought about a compassion we lacked prior and a feeling of unity; walking life’s path together, each of us as the others armour and warrior.

To this day, we continue to pray through these books. I even have a pocket version I carry in my purse, should something arise throughout the day and Dave texts me asking for prayer.

4. Marriage Prep

Honestly, I know that some of you are laughing. “Pre-paritial counselling? !” you say. “Isn’t that what they used to do in the olden days or what you do simply because the church says you have to?” I hear you and I used to think that way also. Honest. Dave and I were hesitant and reluctant to give this shot.

We decided on an intimate 8 week course, held at our home church CAC. And much to our chagrin we truly loved it! We looked forward to the humorous videos and how it so bluntly shared the different stages of marriage life. It revealed how different personalities interact and how to problem solve without reeking havoc on your relationship. We laughed our way through most sessions, while simultaneously hitting on some hot button issues we were able to address and solve with help.

We were grateful we stepped out in faith, despite how uncomfortable and unsure we were, to partake in a trusted pre-marital course.

5. Marriage Mentors

Mentors is a loaded word and to be honest, no marriage is perfect. So I use the term loosely. What I want to encourage you to do is find a couple, much older, who you can trust and feel open to being vulnerable with.

Dave and I have a few of these couples, who we’re able to come to with almost anything. From little to big, we share our hearts with our “mentors”, our frustrations with each other and discuss sometimes vary difficult and touchy subjects. They offer advice from personal experience and are many times the hope that keep us going. They encourage us to push forward through life’s rough patches, never judge us for our weaknesses and assure us we were truly not alone in our discoveries!

Remember though: these folks don’t just fall from the sky. It can take time to develop such trusted and honest friendship. But I promise, with a bit of persistent prayer for guidance and testing waters with conversation, God will bless you with a genuine couple who’ll make you feel at home in your every circumstance- maybe even embrace it!

While they’re no rocket science secrets, they’re honest, time tested tools. And I encourage you to give even just one a shot! What have you got to loose? Only something to gain! And if you feel so inclined, I’d love for you to share with me your favourite tool and how it’s helping to prepare you and your sweety for a lifetime of blessings in marriage.

Wishing you a marriage of perseverance, faith, love and abundant joy, friend!

xo Kailey-Michelle

Photos [top left, moving right] by Elizabeth Messina, Unknown, Paula O'Hara + Mel &Co.

Posted in Engagement, Joy in Life, Loving Advice | 3 Comments »